Dear Bakerstreet

[lulutiffany]

I had no idea how destroyed I would personally feel by any of the drama over the past week. For over a decade, I have poured so much of myself into my characters and their development. I’ve been in many games on LJ and DW, I’ve also taken time off, but my heart has always comes back to RPing. Drama has come and gone, as it does for every one, but it has always passed. This time? I can’t say how things became the way they did in the end. All I can say is that I’ve not felt this sad in a very long time.


I hold every single thread on Bakerstreet and anon meme that I’ve ever done dear to my heart. I RP with my entire self invested in my characters. I put myself onto the page, no mater how silly or dramatic the meme is. Sure they can get OOC, but isn’t that the fun? Isn’t taking a chance that you may or may not connect with another writer the point of posting to a community like this? Sure, they may not answer, but what if they do? It is that type of thrill that I love. These are not games where you must fill quotas; it’s a place where anything can happen.



I can’t defend my reaction from a week ago, but I can say that I should not be defined as a person for it. I may be speaking to no one but myself right now, but I have to say a few things out loud somewhere. For my own well being:

I am a good person.

I forgive anyone that cannot see that.

To everyone that allowed me to have amazing adventures with them, thank you. You really mean more to me than I can ever express.

Comments

[countessvonsockington]

Serious suggestion: find a new hobby. Pouring all of yourself into one thing that relies on other people to make it work us unhealthy as shit and this is pretty much where you end up. Take up knitting or teach yourself to code or something.

[lulutiffany]

I love you too, sock puppet account.

[countessvonsockington]

You probably think I'm trolling, but I'm actually not. Diversifying your hobbies/interests is a healthy thing to do and it protects you from being so totally devastated if one of those hobbies goes a bit sour.

Basically -- this too shall pass. You screwed the pooch, yes, but not insurmountably. And at least from what I saw (which is most definitely not the full story, I'll admit that) it seemed like a lot of what happened was based around RP being the centerpiece of your life. When it's just one hobby among many, getting crit or having someone politely ask you to leave them alone doesn't feel like such a total rejection of you as a person.

I don't think you're a bad person. I think you're just another human being trying to have some fun in this big, tough world. So, as one human being to another, here's something that will help you in this world: diversify. When one hobby is going rough, have something you can fall back on. Don't stake your sense of yourself on one thing or on one other person.

[lulutiffany]

You were one of those anon whose comments lead me to being banned.

Regretting it?

[countessvonsockington]

Nope, I wasn't involved in the discussion. I read it, but I don't know you, and I don't play in Bakerstreet, so I didn't have any participation in what went down.

But I know what it's like to have RP as your only outlet. I read this post of yours and I recognized something like the position I used to be in; that's why I'm reaching out to you. I don't think your a bad person, or that you deserve to be banished forever from the hobby.

You're probably not in much of a state to hear advice right now, but maybe when you've gotten a little more distance from the whole thing, you'll think about what I've said. There's more for you to do in the world than just RP, and I think you can still bring a lot of value to whatever you do.

[lulutiffany]

Doesn't matter. You assume too much, fill in the blanks with whatever you want to think, everyone else did. I am not afraid to admit my mistakes and I never have been. I had nothing to defend myself with because of how little RPing i've been doing in the past two years. The people that burned me were cowards and stalkers. You are being a coward with this sock puppet account. If you actually cared you would talk to me without the vail. I don't care about the ban, I care that people are now using it against me as a reason to shut me out from everything else.

[lulutiffany]

Nothing more to say then?
Then let me share what I think about you.

You're are actually a very deeply emotional person yourself, but you try, and think yourself and expert at, keeping them under check. You seek confirmation for your own delusional thoughts by doing what you think is trying to make people do the same. You feel better for helping them if they accept your advice and you feel better for trying to help even if they don't because "you tried" and "They clearly weren't reading to hear you". Doesn't matter what topic it is. That's why you are encouraged to talk to anyone and everyone in your own mind, no matter what.

My advise to you is seek help, find new friends and If anyone here needs a REAL hobby, it's you.